Monday, January 2, 2017

It's My 10th Birthday Party--30 Years Later

When I was 10 I had planned the birthday party to end all birthday parties.  I had games, beauty stations, food, and sleeping arrangements carefully planned for each of my 15 guests.  Yes.  I had 15 10-year-old girls at my house.  I'm sure my mom tried to talk me out of it, but in my 10-year-old mind, I thought that was a good idea.  What happened in reality was that 15 different people have 15 different ideas about what it looks like to hang out at a sleepover.  Surprise!  So halfway through my party, I ended up in my mom's room crying because I thought the party was going horribly.

I learned from that obviously traumatic experience that people have their own ideas, and especially in a social gathering, will tend to wander in all different directions.  Fast forward 30 years to New Year's Eve.  I did it again.  In my effort to make sure everyone was included and going to have a blast, I did it again...and it was an epic fail.  How could a gathering of great friends and food and kids become an epic fail?  Because I didn't go.

 color: UL herb garden

I allowed guilty, liar voice to convince me that I would feel really bad if not everyone was able to go...and that I was responsible for that.  Ugh.  This totally sounds like something from middle school, but you'll recall I turned 40 just a few weeks ago.  The lesson I am reminded of and that I hope you hear as well is this:
I am 100% responsible for my own responses and actions...but I don't have any control over others' responses. 
It is kind to include others.  It is friendly to invite all--but I can't please everyone all the time.  It's impossible.  So continue to invite, include, and have fun in 2017, but for pete's sake, quit trying to please everyone all the time.  You'll both end up unhappy, or not.  It might just make only you miserable.

Make it a beautiful year, friends.

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