Monday, February 1, 2016

Don't Get Stuck In Your Filter

We had kids so that we could embarrass them.  Ok, that's not the only reason, but I'm sure that's what my kids think.  At the ripe old ages of 13 and 10, they remind me without hesitation,
"Don't embarrass me, Mom," before we enter any place where their friends other teenagers people might be.  
 While I don't generally try to embarrass them, it happens on occasion.  It might be one too many "I love you's" or it might be walking over to a friend's house to introduce myself to his mom.  The latter was the cause for concern this specific time.  I tried to ease the embarrassing trip by stopping by the park on the way to walk to the friend's house, but my son was having none of it.  
"Just come home mom," was the text I received while he walked home and I walked on.
"I'll text him again to see if we can get together for our science fair project."  
Sorry, Buddy.  No dice.  My son and his friend have agreed to work together on their science fair project which I agree is a fantastic idea.  His friend is a fabulous kid and lives just around the corner from our house.  Easy access.  However, my son being the introvert that he tends to be, didn't want to walk over there to talk about it.  
"That's not what people do!" he tried to explain to me.  
He was absolutely flabbergasted that kids would just walk up to someone else's house and ask them to come out and talk.  He couldn't believe we didn't call first and schedule it.  Apparently, I've become too rigid in my play time activities as an adult because that's what we did when we were kids--almost every day.  Didn't you?  I do schedule things, for the most part, but that's because with work and other commitments, our time is limited.  But I digress.  I wasn't going to drag him kicking and screaming to his friend's house so I could meet his friend's parents.  I also wasn't going to let him think I was bluffing either.  This mommy doesn't bluff.

Kiddo was embarrassed to go, siting the fact that it's just not how he works.  He's not as outgoing as me.  That's okay--except when it affects what he needs to do.  Someday, he'll have to get a job or start a business, and more than that, he'll have to provide for himself (and his own family!).  A person can't do that well from inside their comfort zone.  Just because you're an introvert, doesn't mean you have to stay an introvert all the time.  At some point it just becomes an excuse not to grow yourself. Tweet this!

In other words, if I filter everything through the filter of "I am an introvert, so I don't have to _____,"
then I'll never get past that.  BUT if I filter it through the filter of "I am an introvert and I prefer to stay home, but I'm willing to push myself to do/get ______" then beautiful amazing things can happen.  I can honestly say that I am in introvert that has learned to be extroverted.  I like staying home and doing creative things, but I believe I'm called to share my creative things with others...so here I am, writing a blog for all the world to see and here my thoughts, in hopes that it can encourage someone else.

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The opposite filter can be true, too, just for the record.  Extroverts can and need to take time to be by themselves, if for no other reason than to remember who they are without the influence of others.  So what is your filter?  Where do you get stuck?  Now that you've acknowledged it, go out and move past it.  Tell me what your filter is below.

Thanks for stopping by, friends.  Make it a beautiful day!  Be sure to hop over to Instagram and Twitter to follow me @JensWallsTalk.

2 comments:

  1. I have 4 kids, and I know this dynamic so well! We are all so guilty of hiding behind filters when it means daring to go outside our comfort zones. Thanks for posting this!

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    Replies
    1. I'm so guilty of it, too, Liz! I'm learning to push through. Thanks for stopping by. :-)

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