I Don't Need to Watch the News

I don't watch the news.  It's a rare occasion that I actually watch the news.  Don't get me wrong, I don't think that life is all sunshine and roses.  I'm not in denial about the dark and terrible evil that lives in this world. I'm aware.  I just choose to not live in a place of fear by being constantly reminded about negative events that are happening everywhere.  I'm can't dwell on the negative and then turn around and live my life in the positive.  It just doesn't work that way.  What goes in, must come out. Garbage in...garbage out.  

Our bodies work the same way as our minds. If we constantly put garbage in them, we will feel like garbage.  I have treats on special occasions, but I don't have treats for every meal. You've heard this before and you know what I'm talking about.  Sometimes we just need a reminder to not get stuck in garbage land.  

There you have it.  Short and sweet today, friends.  Be aware, but don't dwell.  Put good in, so good will come out.  Grow.  Push.  Fail.  Do it again.  Go make it a beautiful day.  

#JensWallsTalk

What Does a Life to the Full Look Like?

Emotions are a good thing.  Did you see the movie "Inside Out" by Pixar?  Loved that one.  It was a cute little, cartoon adventure around the idea that we need sadness.  We need sadness so we can have joy.  My daughter and I were discussing the movie "The Giver" (that came out last year, but we just watched it last weekend).  It was another interesting take on emotions (among other things like euthanasia and thought control).  Without giving too much away, only one person carried the memories of the past--whether good or painful--then that person had to pass them on to the next memory keeper.  Those in power over the community didn't want everyone to have those memories because they would make bad choices and repeat them.  I would definitely recommend watching it, and if you have kids, watch it with them.  It's a lot to chew on.  But, once again, I digress from my original topic: living life to the full.

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That's what Jesus called it.  I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.(John 10:10) What he didn't say was that life will be all sunshine and roses.  What he didn't say is that we will never have sadness.  He did say we will have it to the full.  We will have beautiful, joyful moments, but we'll also have tragic, horrific moments.  We will have grief beyond compare.  And after that, we'll have elation again.  That is the human experience.  Emotions are the human experience.  We love and we loathe.  We are scared and we are brave.  It's okay to have emotions.  Don't hide in them and get stuck in the negative ones.  

Live and live to the full.  Experience the full range of emotions.  Soak it in. Enjoy life.  Experience your life.  It's yours for the living, friends. Make it beautiful.

He Couldn't Breathe

If you've been following me for any length of time, you know I'm a crossfitter.  If you aren't familiar with that program, it is an exercise or fitness program that has developed an almost cult like following over the last several years for a lot of different reasons.  I enjoy it because every movement can be scaled, it's always different, there are benchmark workouts so I can actually see that I'm making progress (or not), and the community atmosphere is amazing and super supportive.

When I started CrossFit, I wasn't in a terrible place, physically, but I had definite room for growth.  I have done a lot of new things and conquered many different movements on my path.  For example, I've run a couple 5K races now, and plan to do more--I might even run a 5 mile race this year.  Now that's just craziness because I am not a runner.  I can do a real (kipping) pull up.  I can do real push ups.  I can even do the rope climb now.  All those things, I have never been able to do prior to CrossFit.  It's really cool because I am now 39-years-old, and I'm still working towards new physical goals while most people are settling for where they are.

Before you go thinking that I am some musclebound CrossFit superstar, let me be clear: I'm not. Have I made huge and amazing strides?  Absolutely!  Am I consistently in the bottom third of the rankings for the ladies at my box (that what CrossFit peeps call our gym)?  Absolutely.  I finally figured out why two days ago.

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When doing a CrossFit workout, we are super supportive of each other.  It's really cool.  So when I get lapped 5 times in an 8 lap workout, the passersby always give a, "Good job, Jennille!" Or "Keep it up, Jennille!" As they run by.  I'm just slow and that's okay.  So when I was on the rowing machine next to one of the guys that is consistently at the top of the board--and leaving me in the dust--I was rowing along and then I wanted to ask him a question.  He could barely breathe to answer me.  I was breathing a bit hard, but still able to easily carry on a conversation.  He wasn't out of breath because he's out of shape.  He was out of breath because of the effort he was putting in. 

That's when it finally hit me: the people that are getting excellent results are putting in excellent effort.  (Um, duh!)  Just because they make it look easy, doesn't mean it is.  That sounds a bit cliche, but it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I thought he was just naturally more gifted or something.  He's just pushing harder, but not in a loud kind of way.  It's taken me 5 years to figure this out.  People that are truly performing excellently, probably aren't going to brag about it.  

People that are truly performing excellently, probably aren't going to brag about it. #JensWallsTalk Tweet this.

Then the question becomes, am I expecting excellent results when I'm only putting in good effort?  I have been, and suffice it to say, it doesn't work that way.  Time to kick it up a notch.

How will your effort change today?  If you want excellence, then put in excellence.  Make it a beautiful day, friends.  In the meantime, you can follow me on Facebook and Instagram (@JensWallsTalk). 

Don't Get Stuck In Your Filter

We had kids so that we could embarrass them.  Ok, that's not the only reason, but I'm sure that's what my kids think.  At the ripe old ages of 13 and 10, they remind me without hesitation,

"Don't embarrass me, Mom," before we enter any place where their friends other teenagers people might be.  

 While I don't generally try to embarrass them, it happens on occasion.  It might be one too many "I love you's" or it might be walking over to a friend's house to introduce myself to his mom.  The latter was the cause for concern this specific time.  I tried to ease the embarrassing trip by stopping by the park on the way to walk to the friend's house, but my son was having none of it.  

"Just come home mom," was the text I received while he walked home and I walked on.

"I'll text him again to see if we can get together for our science fair project."  

Sorry, Buddy.  No dice.  My son and his friend have agreed to work together on their science fair project which I agree is a fantastic idea.  His friend is a fabulous kid and lives just around the corner from our house.  Easy access.  However, my son being the introvert that he tends to be, didn't want to walk over there to talk about it.  

"That's not what people do!" he tried to explain to me.  

He was absolutely flabbergasted that kids would just walk up to someone else's house and ask them to come out and talk.  He couldn't believe we didn't call first and schedule it.  Apparently, I've become too rigid in my play time activities as an adult because that's what we did when we were kids--almost every day.  Didn't you?  I do schedule things, for the most part, but that's because with work and other commitments, our time is limited.  But I digress.  I wasn't going to drag him kicking and screaming to his friend's house so I could meet his friend's parents.  I also wasn't going to let him think I was bluffing either.  This mommy doesn't bluff.

Kiddo was embarrassed to go, siting the fact that it's just not how he works.  He's not as outgoing as me.  That's okay--except when it affects what he needs to do.  Someday, he'll have to get a job or start a business, and more than that, he'll have to provide for himself (and his own family!).  A person can't do that well from inside their comfort zone.  Just because you're an introvert, doesn't mean you have to stay an introvert all the time.  At some point it just becomes an excuse not to grow yourself. Tweet this!

In other words, if I filter everything through the filter of "I am an introvert, so I don't have to _____,"

then I'll never get past that.  BUT if I filter it through the filter of "I am an introvert and I prefer to stay home, but I'm willing to push myself to do/get ______" then beautiful amazing things can happen.  I can honestly say that I am in introvert that has learned to be extroverted.  I like staying home and doing creative things, but I believe I'm called to share my creative things with others...so here I am, writing a blog for all the world to see and here my thoughts, in hopes that it can encourage someone else.

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The opposite filter can be true, too, just for the record.  Extroverts can and need to take time to be by themselves, if for no other reason than to remember who they are without the influence of others.  So what is your filter?  Where do you get stuck?  Now that you've acknowledged it, go out and move past it.  Tell me what your filter is below.

Thanks for stopping by, friends.  Make it a beautiful day!  Be sure to hop over to Instagram and Twitter to follow me @JensWallsTalk.

I Squashed My Husband's Dream

I have a terrible confession to make. I was squashing my husband's dream.  Not only was I squashing my husband's dream...I was building mine.  Wow.  When that realization hit me last spring, I felt about as big as an ant.  

I had been studying (and studying hard and a lot) for my black belt test.  My goal was to not only pass my black belt test the first time I took it, but to go on and eventually take on more responsibility for teaching and managing our school.  At the same time as doing that, I had (and continue) to grow my Color & Inspiration consulting business (www.JensWallsTalk.com). Growing two big dreams simultaneously while taking care of a family, working full time outside the home, blogging regularly, and just living life takes a lot of time and support.  I couldn't do any of those things well without my husband supporting me, and yet I was telling him that he needed to stay at his job that even though he did it very well, was increasingly draining on him due to some ownership and management changes. He wanted to do something different and I was telling him he couldn't leave.  

Let me be clear, I don't control my husband.  He is the head of our house and ultimately he is responsible for his choices for our family, but to borrow from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," I am the neck that turns the head.  My husband values my opinion and experience, and if I don't support him in something, he's not going to feel good about doing it.  So if I am unsupportive--and even negative--about him leaving an extremely negative job because I like the regular paycheck and benefits, then he's probably not going to do it.  

I realized what I had been doing by not being supportive of his dreams--especially while he was supporting me and mine.  I was being that wife.  You know the one.  The naggy, insecure, selfish one that only thinks about her own dreams and wishes.  Oh yuck.  I was her.  Not cool.  So I decided to change.  

Fast forward 6 months, an opportunity came open for my husband to work for a smaller company doing what he really and truly enjoys (creating things with his hands), and he took it with confidence. He was able to work with some great guys.  And guess what...I got my husband back.  You know how it is, ladies.  That guy you fell in love with that laughs and has fun that isn't stressed all the time?  He's still in there. Fast forward another 10 months...now my amazing hubby has been offered another position in an even more creative endeavor doing what he really loves and working with one of his most favorite people.  Would that have even been a possibility if I had continued to pressure him to stay at the super negative job?  I truly believe it would not have been.

I'm not saying it is my fault if my husband chooses to stay at a not so happy, truly not growing kind of job.  He is a big boy and makes his own choices.  However, if I am the nagging, unsupportive wife that he comes home to, then I'm not creating an environment for him to grow, which is all the more awful when he's supporting my ever growing dreams.

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My challenge to you today is to ask yourself what kind of spouse are you?  If you are already in that supportive place, fantastic!  Stay there.  Grow together.  If you're not there...well, take a look in the mirror and see if that's where you want to stay.  

Make it a beautiful day, friends.  You can follow me on Twitter and Instagram, too.  @JensWallsTalk is me.  See you there.

Did God Give You A Green Light?

What happens when God not only gives you the green light to do something, but provides confirmation that you are doing the right thing...and then keeps providing confirmation?  You become an unstoppable force because the Creator is on your side.  That's not to say there won't be hiccups along the way.  There will.

How does this apply to real life?  For me, I've been working on a book for about a year now.  It's a story.  It's a story I believe I'm meant to tell.  It's about something I believe in, and God keeps giving me pieces. It had not ever occurred to me before I started writing a book that a book isn't necessarily written in chronological order.  I get a nugget of an idea and then it grows, but it doesn't always go in order of how the story is already being written.  An entire story doesn't just pop into your head (at least not for me).  Sometimes I don't know what is going to happen until I'm sitting at my laptop writing.  It's really cool, actually.

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My point is this: if God has really and truly called you to do something, go do it.  It's not about you. It's about what God wants to accomplish and He will always find a way to make it happen.  If you're not sure about that one, then check out this post to see a real life example of how He showed me that.

Because I Didn't Win

That's what my son told me when I asked him why he didn't tell me that he placed third in his school's spelling bee last week. He was actually a bit embarrassed. It was super cute. He is a smart kid, but doesn't tend toward academic over achievement. He doesn't feel like that's "his thing" at this point in his life. (Not that he's not capable, but that's a discussion for another day.)

His teacher called me to give me the details for the next step: district competition. Mister Man is the alternate, and he needs to be there in case something happens to one of the other two kids. That's how I found out! Little turkey! Hubby and I are super proud of our little smarty pants, so you'll have to accept my apology for pulling up to the #mommybragtable for a minute.

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I tell you this little snippet not to be vain or cocky about what my kid can do. That is totally not it. It was an interesting dynamic for my son to win at something that he wasn't trying to win.  He didn't even tell me, but once I knew about it, he spilled the beans and told me the whole story. It was pretty cute. (I know. Thirteen year old boys are not cute, they're cool.) He obviously wouldn't get in trouble for winning an academic contest, so why didn't he tell us?  Still working on that one, but in the mean time, we'll go with "because I didn't win." I have no idea where my son would learn to hold himself to an impossible standard...ahem...

Make it a beautiful day, friends, and know that it IS okay to pull up to the bragtable sometimes. 

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