I wanted to cry and run away. I was doing what I believe I'm supposed to be doing...but that doesn't mean it's perfect every time. In fact, it was really hard for a bit. So much for "if your doing something you love, you'll never work a day in your life." This is what I love and, believe me, I was working.
What was this terrible task, you might be wondering? I was painting. Not only painting (which can be done poorly, but that's a story for another day), but faux painting. It's what I do. It's part of my business. I've done this particular finish several times, in various shades, but for some reason this time was different. Without going into too much technical detail, it was just wrong, bad, terrible, not right, and I had a choice to make. I could crawl out the window (yes, that thought crossed my mind!), or I could put my big girl panties on and figure out a way to fix it--terrifying though it may be. Let me be really clear in saying that my client is an amazingly sweet person and this pressure was all self-inflicted. I had told her I could do something. Now I needed to do it.
Fast forward to an hour later, 15 texts to my apparently busy husband, another 10 vague texts to friends asking for prayers, where I came up with an alternate plan...and she really liked it. It almost seems silly in hindsight. I was praying about paint. I know in the grand scheme of things paint is unimportant, but this was bigger than paint. This is my word. This is my reputation. This is my business. This has my name on it. So it matters.
In the end it worked out. It was actually really nice and it's what I believe my client wanted. The hard part was the lies. You know the ones I'm talking about because I'm sure you've heard them, too. They are the lies Satan whispers in our ears when we're not paying attention: you can't do this; you don't know what you're doing; who do you think you are to do this without formal training in a classroom; you can't really run a business of doing this; you're not good enough; you're not as talented as the lady who taught you. Here was my response that I actually said out loud as I was painting at a stranger's house: I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME. And that, friends, is the truth.
What do you do when you get stuck? Cry, pray, call for help? All of the above? I believe I couldn't reach my hubby on purpose. It forced me to pray more, rely on God, and to humble myself and reach out to others to pray for me.
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Make it a beautiful day, friends.