Friday, October 7, 2016

A Marriage Fixer Guarantee

I don't like debt. I'd like to say I hate it, but that would imply that I've mastered control over it.  We're not quite there yet, but we're working on it.  In fact, at our Financial Peace University class last week, we cut up our last two credit cards!  Whoo hoo!  Now to pay them off and close them...  We didn't accumulate it overnight, and we won't pay it off overnight, either.  It's easy to see why marriages struggle because of debt. They call it "financial challenges." That sounds mundane and almost harmless when it's phrased like that, but it's anything but harmless.

 colors: UL cherry blossom & rosemary tea

Here's what it looks like.  Both you and your spouse know you owe money to people--credit cards, car loans, school loans, whatever.  It seems to play out in one of two ways: either you're nagging each other to death (often treating your spouse like a child), or you're both silently dancing around the woolly mammoth elephant in the middle of the room whilst punishing yourself in your head or blaming your spouse. FYI, neither one of those are conducive to making a good or happy marriage.  It's really difficult, but I'm offering a third solution.  What if it started with something like this...
Hello, Love.  I know this money situation sucks really badly right now, but I'd really like to figure out the way to get out of it.  We got in this together (or we're in it together now), and I know we can get out of it together, too.  I'd like to have more fun time to spend with you without stressing about the bills later.  Will you look at this with me?
How do you say no to that?  Yes, it is hard.  Yes, it takes daily discipline.  Yes, it takes planning and delayed gratification.  And more than anything if you're married, it takes working together.  Really and truly looking at the goal of debt free and working toward it together.  I promise your marriage will be better and stronger.  Because, let's be honest, it's not a happy place to be in nagging land or elephant in the room land or cry about it all the time land.  Those are all places I've visited.  I'm not going back.

Let's start with forgiveness, then move forward.

Make it a beautiful day, friends.

If you have any questions about the topic of debt or getting rid of it, please feel free to comment below.  If you want a break from reality for a few minutes, jump over to Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook to see my current wall talking fun!

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