Keep trying. That's what you do. I have beautiful, wonderful, amazing friends. I truly love them. My core group of friends generally meet once a week for our small group Bible study and accountability. It's an honest, vulnerable, safe place to share with people I have common beliefs. I often forget that not everyone has that. After we gather, I often leave feeling encouraged, uplifted, and renewed in my convictions that I must stay the course in whatever particular struggle I might be having that week. So what happens when our crazy schedules are crazier than normal, and we just aren't able to gather? A funk.
I've said on more than one occasion that I am an introvert that has learned to be extroverted. I'm sure there is a more technical and accurate description out there, but I'm not familiar with it. Growing up I thought I was shy. I've since overcome that and learned that I just actually like to be by myself sometimes, doing my thing to recharge...reading, painting, writing, studying, praying. It's not that I'm avoiding people. It's just how I recharge. However, I need the other side of the teeter totter. I need people.
God created us to be in fellowship with other human beings. We were not designed to isolate--retreat on occasion, yes! But when we completely isolate ourselves, we end up in a weird place that isn't reality. It's too easy to believe the lies we hear when there is no one that loves us affirming truth to us.
Do you have a safe place to be vulnerable? Have you pushed people away that were honest with you in a loving way? Time to suck it up, Buttercup. Don't isolate yourself. Be honest with yourself. Be honest with someone else. It's difficult...but I'm guessing you'll be glad you reached out.
Make it a beautiful day, friends.
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