Have I Offended You?

It's okay to be upset with someone. It means you have feelings and you own your opinions.  You're human. 

But what if I don't know I've hurt you?  It's unintentional, accidental, or maybe just a flippant error, but the fact remains that I hurt you.  Should you tell me?  That's up to you, but it's been my experience that sometimes yours truly just has a big mouth, and I don't know I've said something to offend.  I don't know I've hurt you. And while I'm not saying I enjoy that conversation, I appreciate in the end that you told me.  

Let's explore this a little more.  Hypothetically speaking, of course, let's say I hurt your feelings.  I insulted you in jest, or I made fun of your favorite sweater thinking it was an "ugly sweater contest" day. Now you're hurt, but I don't know your hurt.  Have you thought of what that looks like to be mad at someone and they don't know it? You fester.  They move on.  You stew...and they're not thinking anything more about it.  Now you're really mad--and I still don't know I've wronged you.  See who's feeling pain here?  You.

Not only are you the one growing your pain and hurt muscle while I'm living in ignorant land, but eventually we'll probably have to interact again.  You'll still be mad, and I'll still have no clue.  Do you see how this is working?  Not well for you.  In addition to the unhappy stew you've made for yourself, you're not doing me any favors if you don't tell me I've hurt you. You're robbing me of the chance to apologize and ask forgiveness.  You're robbing me of the chance to make it up to you. You're robbing me of the opportunity to take our relationship to a deeper, more authentic level.

All this is to say that if I've wronged you, please tell me.  I'd appreciate if everyone could coordinate and not do it all today, but let's be honest and real.  In the long run, we'll all be better for it.

Make it a beautiful day, friends.

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